Everyone has flaws, and envy is just one of them. We have seen many examples in movies and literature, how this negative feeling ruins human lives or leads to a bad end. In fact, there is nothing wrong with envy if you learn to work with it. Let’s find out how to stop being jealous.
Here are practical tips to help you overcome envy and find harmony in yourself.
What Is Envy?
In simple words, envy can be described as a negative feeling caused by the success of others. Where does it come from? We may remember it from an early age. For example, when you went to kindergarten, your friend had a gorgeous doll, you really wanted one and you were jealous. In the case of children, this is justified because they don’t have enough experience to properly assess the situation, draw a conclusion and calm down. But we grow up, and feelings of envy can often make themselves felt. And in some cases, it manifests itself acutely and painfully, manifesting itself in severe upset or even depression.
Many of us compare ourselves to others: beautiful girls on social networks, movie stars, married friends, or friends who have achieved more than you or even hit the jackpot at the Big Bamboo slot and are now spending money. Social media especially fuels feelings of envy because in their Instagrams, people don’t write about how they had a burst pipe and flooded their apartment or were suddenly fired from their job. No, they show their best side, boasting about their looks, success, wealth, and popularity. Under such circumstances, anyone will feel envy, even if outwardly they don’t show it. But inside will lodge hurt feelings of injustice against you. These experiences lead to low self-esteem and devaluation of oneself as a person.
Expressed envy in a bad mood, demotivation, irritability, and eventually leads to depression. Prolonged experience of these feelings causes destruction of relations with others, neurosis and serious intrapersonal conflicts.
There is such a thing as “white envy,” a feeling when we rejoice in someone else’s happiness. It’s not accompanied by a destructive sense of injustice, but by a sincere joy and a wicked desire to have what the other person has.
How do you overcome feelings of envy and start to live a normal life? This requires strengthening your psyche and loving yourself. It’s not easy and not quick, but there are tips to help you become psychologically strong.
How to Cope With Envy
If it’s such a negative feeling, isn’t there some magic pill for it that will remove it as a symptom? Unfortunately, you can’t get rid of envy that easily. It’s part of human psychology, which is embedded in the base and can only be dealt with by self-education. That’s what you have to do: study, think more, take notes, read books, and develop your interests. While it’s all piled up, it’s not clear what these activities have to do with jealousy, but we’ll put everything in its place.
Become Self-sufficient
With envy, you think that the person who succeeded is more intelligent and talented than you are. All this nonsense because each of us has potential, it’s just that this man earlier discerned and began to develop it in him. To feel confident and achieve your goals, it’s necessary to become self-sufficient.
You have to start by accepting yourself. As you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses. Take a diary and a pen and describe yourself as you see yourself: harmful, funny, rude, shy, etc. And then analyze what you have written and think about how your assessment is objective. Surely, if you have low self-esteem, there will be more negative qualities, and if you are narcissistic, many qualities may be exaggeratedly good. So be it, the first step is taken.
The next step will be self-awareness. Your assessment may seem quite objective, but are you sure you know yourself? Understanding yourself helps a simple practice – keeping a diary. More often write your feelings and impressions, both negative and positive. This is important, because they let you know what you like, interesting, happy. All of this, like a puzzle, will gradually take shape into a whole picture of understanding and accepting yourself. That’s when you feel confident and self-sufficient, the one who should be the envy of all around.
Develop Interests
Interests, or if you wish, hobbies, are also an important element of a self-sufficient person. A person with certain interests will not pay attention to pathos posts on Instagram, if only because he doesn’t have time for it. And it can also just seem ridiculous. For example, if you are a keen traveler, the main things for you will be nature, architecture, cuisine, theater and you can easily talk vividly about what you see. So thoughtlessly photographed against the Eiffel Tower in an unnatural pose and put it all on display – it’s not for you. “It’s just stupid, what’s there to be jealous of?” – you’ll think, and you’ll wonder how you didn’t realize it before. Interests change your worldview, occupy and give meaning. It will qualitatively differentiate you from those who do things just because it’s in the trend.
Love Yourself
Perhaps the most difficult point of all. If you’re self-critical and prone to reflection, loving yourself will be a challenge. But with good training, it will come to you on its own. Look, you are a conscious, self-sufficient and enthusiastic person, then why not love yourself? Why envy others when you have a favorite hobby in your life, in which you know and can give anyone a head start; a job that brings a small but steady income and enough to implement plans and wishes? Your strengths will lead you to the point where you are worthy of healthy and conscious self-love.
Find Your Social Circle
Envy often arises from a lack of communication, when you, like a lonely snail, hiding in a shell from the outside world and look at him through a window of social networks of friends. So it’s important to gradually build a circle of people with similar views and common interests. This is your support group. Together with them it will be easier for you to understand your emotions, desires and just enjoy life. In good company, negative feelings recede or go away for good.
We have all been envious of other people at one point or another: their talents, successes, or beautiful homes and possessions. But jealousy can be a destructive emotion, sapping your energy and influencing negative comparisons with others. It can lead to problems in relationships, anxiety, and reduced self-confidence. Here are five tips on how to stop the jealousy and start enjoying life again.
1. Acknowledge your feelings. The first step to overcoming jealousy is to identify the feeling and determine what is causing it. Acknowledge your emotions without judging them, and work out why you are feeling jealous.
2. Focus on your strengths. Instead of comparing yourself to someone else, focus on your own unique qualities and abilities. Practice self-care, such as stepping outside to enjoy nature, taking a bath, or sitting in silence. Appreciate the things you’re good at and focus on building your confidence instead of feeling frustrated or envious of others.
3. Embrace failure and try again. We all struggle, make mistakes, and face failure from time to time. Instead of giving up or feeling jealous, allow yourself to make mistakes and try again. See failure as a learning experience and an opportunity for personal growth.
4. Reach out for help. If your feelings are overwhelming, reach out to a friend, family member, or therapist for help. Talking to someone can provide a much-needed perspective and help you find solutions.
5. Change the narrative. With practice and patience, you can learn to control the negative dialogue in your head. Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on what you have achieved and the positive aspects of your life.
These five tips offer guidance on how to stop feeling jealous and start appreciating the wonderful things in your life. By focusing on your strengths, embracing failure and seeking help, you can start regulating your emotions and enjoying life again.